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TGLP 013: Never Lose A Sales Negotiation Again! Tips From Former FBI Hostage Negotiator

Chris Voss is the Founder and CEO of the Black Swan Group Ltd and NYT best-seeling author of Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It.

Prior to 2008, Chris was the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the Federal Bureau of Investigation, as well as the FBI’s hostage negotiation representative for the National Security Council’s Hostage Working Group.

Guest Links

Chris on Facebook| Chrison Twitter| Chris on Instagram

Links Mentioned

Blackswanltd.com | Top 5 Negotiation Books| Chris’ Blog

3 Insights From This Episode

 1.Don’t Feel Their Pain. Label It

People don’t care if you feel their pain, they want to know that you understand. Connection brings understanding…and understanding brings connection.

When people know you understand, people will naturally get onboard with the leader.

Using “I” sends the message that I care more about what I think than what you think.

Avoid using “I” statements.

Instead of saying, “I think you’re angry.” say, “You sound angry.” –

Saying “You” instead of “I” will allow the person to know they are understood, and this will lower their defenses.

  1. Create The Illusion Of Control

When negotiating you need to create the illusion of control to move from confrontation to collaboration.

As leaders, you should not try to get people to “Yes” through cornering them into that answer. Trying to tie someone down is the opposite of collaboration.

What? and How? questions are the keys to collaboration and leading people to where you want them to be.

  1. Be A Mirror

If you want to quickly establish rapport begin mirroring those you are negotiating with. Mirroring and labeling lead to greater connection.

Mirror and labeling are key cornerstones of effective negotiation and communication.

The goal is to identify what your counterparts actually need (monetarily, emotionally, or otherwise) and get them feeling safe enough to talk and talk and talk some more about what they want.

But neither wants nor needs are where we start; it begins with mirroring, making it about the other people, validating their emotions, and creating enough trust and safety for a real conversation to begin.

Share These Quotes On Social Media

Don’t feel the pain, label it. @VossNegotiation

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We need to take a step back in our conversations to make sure we’re not missing something. @VossNegotiation

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Using “I” sends the message that I care more about what I think than what you think. “You sound angry” versus “I think you’re angry” @VossNegotiation

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Next Episode:  Joe Calloway

Joe Calloway helps great companies get even better. His workshops and interactive keynote presentations help develop leaders, create more effective teams, and improve performance for successful businesses who know that they can, and should, be doing more with the people and resources that they already have.

Joe’s client list reads like an international Who’s Who in business, ranging from companies like Proctor & Gamble and Coca Cola to Cadillac and American Express. Joe also works extensively with small to mid-sized businesses, franchisees, and a range of professional services organizations.

Joe’s client list reads like an international Who’s Who in business, ranging from companies like Proctor & Gamble and Coca Cola to Cadillac and American Express. Joe also works extensively with small to mid-sized businesses, franchisees, and a range of professional services organizations.

Subscribe for free  now and you won’t miss Episode 014.

 

 

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By | 2018-03-07T05:41:03+00:00 February 8th, 2018|Categories: episodes|0 Comments

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